Prying guy

Bus drivers are those kind of people. You know the type. We’re service people and often were oblivious to the people who board our bus.  There is insight to be gleaned from being invisible, I wonder if people ever pay attention to the personas obscuras  around them.  The shit I hear….  sometimes I learn more about the situation than one of the participants.

There are two school girls that get on my bus each and every day. They ride together, they get dropped off from the same car, they chat together  and they gossip together…  but one gets off 2 stops before the other ( perhaps they have different classes on opposite ends of the campus in the morning).  But I wonder if the one girl who gets off first knows how much shit the other girl talks about her the second she gets off.

The moment the girl leaves her friend starts to talk shit to about her to other kids..  She bags on her clothes, rags on her hair and hates her boyfriend.  She calls her a bitch and laughs and tells embarrassing facts about her. Friday I found out she started her period  at school yesterday!!!!  TMI  but her “friend” just blurted out how she had to spend all of 3rd period in the girls room…  You’d think a person would know how there friends are but sometimes we are blinded by partial truths….    I’m just the impartial receptor that hears all…. truths the good and the bad.

Look it’s human nature, I get it…  but if there was karma in the world that girl would learn what a fucked up friend she has. I wish I could let her hear it from my perspective; a fly on the wall listening as I blend into the background.

Uh- Oh

I had intended to write about a bunch of random little stuff I’ve seen on the bus lately that I thought was funny but too small for a full post…..  until….. something happened.

As I came in to the train room this afternoon I was happily eager to get out the door and go home.. but from across the room came the echo of “that dreaded word”  …. I hate to even say the word…. because it has cost me nothing but sacrifice and burden in my life………..    ”"” Strike”"”     Now I’m not saying we are going to, but as a union member the mere mention of the word.. the slightest inkling of the rumor cause fear…  like a massive thunderstorm looming on the horizon.  Just the fact people are talking about is enough to scare the shit out of me.

I’ve been on strike a lot in my life…  I have walked the union life for over 20 years and fundamentally believed in the labor cause…   It’s a hard deal to be on strike, nobody wins. Each and every time we’ve walked it’s been over something really big in our contract…  I can’t see us rank and file drivers voting for a strike…  these aren’t the times to make waves….  I don’t think we could win and honestly I don’t know what I will do at this stage of my career if they throw up the picket line.  right now it’s just a rumor….  but somehow in our biz  rumors often become self fulfilling prophecies….  I’ll keep you posted……..

A whole different kind of trouble..

There are many types of trouble on the bus…. and all kinds of problems…

The first kind of trouble is the loud problem.  This comes from the loud mouth Assholes who feel the need to talk about how bad they are. Rule #1 I’ve learned driving the streets, if you need to tell people how bad you are, you aren’t very bad….  These losers are all bark and no bite and are usually punked out so they aren’t a big problem.  I had a guy one time talk trash about he was going to do this to me and that to me and ya ya ya till he made the mistake of touching my shoulder??  ”fearing for my safety” ;>  I grabbed his arm twisted it counter clockwise in an unnatural manner and used it as a fulcrum to shove him off the bus….  I then jumped up and told him  ” Come get some!!!”  he looked at me like I was the crazy one as he was almost pissed his pants…

The bigger trouble is the silent problem.  Rule # 2 I’ve learned driving the streets  badass motherfuckers never talk shit, they just do shit.  These are the real problem, these guys give no warning and just go off when they feel the need….  but usually badass motherfuckers aren’t going to start shit on the bus, they got better stuff to do. I remember one night a loud asshole was causing problems on the bus.. unfortunately for him there was a badass motherfucker on the bus who quietly walked over to him whispered something in his ear and calmly beat his head like a grapefruit as he tossed him out the back door…..  Ahh Karma, sometimes I love you…

But then there is a third type of problem… the crazy problem….  When you get a problem passenger who is nuts all bets are off. There are too many unknown variables to predict how it’s gonna go…. I say this because a really weird guy got on my bus yesterday…  he was ranting and raving and cussing at himself…. in a mentally disturbed way..   Here in lies the problem, how do I deal with him?  Do I risk intervention and possible agitation? Do I physically intercede? Perhaps he has “Grapes of Wrath” type crazy strength and snaps my neck?  or do I just sit back and do nothing hoping he gets off soon? the correct answer is C.   Knowledge is power and if it’s impossible to know likely outcomes of your actions you never want to exercise those powers  cause that’s when bad shit happens…. So you try to sum up the situation with as much knowledge as you can get from a situation.  I have a good ability to look at a person getting on and figure out where they are going ( within a mile or two)  This guy reeked of Van Nuy’s blvd… and that was only 12 minutes away. So Here is the problem…  Crazy guy on bus…  going to Van Nuy’s Blvd.  Van Nuy’s Blvd is 12 minutes away.  Do I confront him or ignore him for 12 minutes? taking the tried and true method of path of least resistance I ignored him, we rolled into Van Nuys and he got off….  problem solved, nut job forgot.. the wheels on the bus keep going round and round…. .

Oh and that girl who said she was gonna ride regularly hasn’t! maybe her job selling packaging tape was short lived  ce le vie

The Sound of Silence.

You’d think the worst part of driving a bus is all the people, wouldn’t you? Rolling down the street jammed in like sardines, the crowds the noise, the smell, it’s got to suck right? right it does but do you know whats wierder to me? Those moments when there is just one other person on the bus, it’s awkward.

Having just one other person on the bus breaks all the social conventions of my job. It moves me out of mass transit and into chauffeur,with one notable exception. Unlike a cab driver or Morgan Freeman in driving miss Daisy, I make way more money that the person I’m driving. When the one person on the bus is an attractive woman, it just adds to level of awkwardness.

As I started my last run on Friday a lone person was standing at a stop waving me down. Waving me down? My line is so small and runs so in frequent, nobody wants it on purpose. An attractive girl gets on and ask me my name? My name? If it were a dude I’d give some bullshit answer like ” Ralph, Ralph Kramden, but I didn’t, I just told her it. ” Are you the regular driver? Do you come by here each day at this time? … She was a chatty little thing. As we conversed she told me of her new job ( yay for anyone getting gainfully employeed these days) She is a phone salesperson.. Just like Willy from my old post and she’ll be riding home with me each day.. which is cool, but weird too.

You see I normally am all alone for the first 30 minutes of this trip… now I’m going to have a travel mate. So as were chatting we cover the small talk, but then thats it. In the deafening tone of silence we sit as we roll down the street… I wanted to keep chatting but honestly anything more would cross the line of politeness and moved into creepy. There is comfort in the familiar silence of person close to you. There is tension in the quietude of a strangers presences…. There is an inner dialogue going through my head of what I could or should say.. all of which seems silly but isn’t. I’d much prefer a large bus full of people…. bitching at me than one lone passenger and their silence. As she got off she told me she’d see me on Monday…. I guess I’ll have to bone up on small talk for the ride….

Blue Monet

A benefit of working early

SNAFU

Situation normal, all fucked up.  That’s just in case you don’t know the orgin of that word.  Today let me tell you about my snafu day.

So I come into a stop and open the doors…  then my doors won’t close…   There are two ways to open the door on a bus.  there is the handle and a little green button.  Well im a green button guy. I had hit the button and the switch broke… sucks to be me.  If it were the handle that broke that could be over ridden..  but the button controls all the doors.. so the bus can’t move.  usually when a bus breaks down I relax but with my new schedule my last two lines are on 1 hour head ways which means I’m screwed they are going to make me drive late…

It took 49 minutes for a mechanic to get to me and fix my bus….   So with three hours to go in my day I’m almost 50 minutes down…  I had no choice but to drive late, lets face it this bus was going to be late for the rest of the day..  my only hope of getting the bus back on track was to drive like hell and call for an OK and go bus relief.

Ok and go means  a relief driver  pulls out an ok bus and just goes in service. It’s usually used for buses that have broken down and won’t make it to the relief point on time…  so rest assured the people would soon be back on time and all would be ok.   But this is the MTA which means it’s gonna be all fucked up soon…

So I get to the relief point where if everything was going normal I would be replaced by another driver…  however agreed on by me and my supervisor  I was going to finnish the trip out and the new guy would start on time in his new bus.   WELL THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN. I pull in there and there is a bus sitting there for an OK and wait.

Ok and wait means   pull and OK bus out and wait to transfer passengers…  This is usually used for buses that needed to pulled in for maintenance or safety issues…   So now I’m late and he’s late…  good intentions down the drain.. oh well….  at least I got overtime….   But damn it’s not that hard, you’d think a company full of transportation professionals could get something this simple.. done…

A little pick me up

When a hot girl sits next to another hot girl on the bus and says ” excuse me do you have a girlfriend?” God damn, you know it’s a good day, like it was on Friday. This girl was really good looking and had her A game on. The other girl said ” yes I do” to which she replied ” oh really, what is the lucky girl like?” I noticed this sense of self assured confidence that most men don’t have in these moments; there was no fear of rejection in her demeanor… just an offer with no harassment, thats an aspect of the pick up most men never get. I feel sorry for women, it seems to me it would be hugely annoying to be bothered on at random by strange guys and I see women bothered by men all day long.

If a girl says no there must obviously be something wrong with her because every guy thinks they are the hottest shit in the world. I’ve seen a lot of losers try to pick up girls on the bus over the years and it almost always goes badly. There was the guy who hit on a girl on every bus trip and he was just pathetic. Once a girl was reading a bible and he asked to borrow it for a second. he read aloud a random reading and tried to morph it into a pick up line; talk about a square peg into a round hole. I used to call him Nolan Ryan because he was the “Strikeout King.” That’s an example of how pathetic it can go but it can go from bad to even worse…

Speaking of going bad…. there was a guy who was hitting on a nurse one morning.. she just moved away from him but he followed. Finally she just said really loudly ” JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!” He tried to alter his approach and that was it, I just told him look bro she doesn’t want to speak to you leave her a lone. ” FUCK YOU, YOU WHITE ASS MOTHER FUCKER” was his response. He was full of shit, I could tell… “I’m right here jump motherfucker?” was my response and he kept talking trash as he walk out the door, the losers always do.. ” I’m right here lets go bro?” he didn’t accept my offer unlike the nurse he was annoying he could get away from me. She never even said thank you, sigh… but it can get evenworse on a bus..

A long time ago I was driving on a Sunday afternoon, it was near the end of my line and there were two people on the bus, a young girl ( maybe 16) and an older homeless dude. I noticed she kept moving and he would move a few seconds after her. I finally heard him say some filthy shit to her… to which I stopped the bus and opened both doors and walked back and sat down next to him. ” Look man if you wanna talk dirty to someone on this bus talk to me because I’m not going to let you talk to this little girl like that.” He replied with the usual profanity. I told the girl to walk off the bus and go into the deli next to the bus. I can’t tell you what happened next because it could get me in trouble… but lets just say if he was looking to get banged maybe he got his wish in strange way…… it would just be easier if only hot lesbians hit on hot lesbians….. but that isn’t always the case. Oh and they both exchanged numbers on the bus, so you never know their pick up could turn into a hook up

A face from the past; the story of a scar

I have come to know a lot of people in Los Angeles just from the bus. I’ve watched these same people come and go for years, some I like some I don’t and some I feel guilty about. This is the story of one of those I feel a little guilty about so without further ado here it is.

Yesterday I pulled up to the Orange line station and as I boarded my passengers there was a familiar ” Hola amigo.”  It was a guy I used to pick up a lot in the past but haven’t seen  in awhile. I looked closely at his left cheek and sure enough it was still there, a tiny scar. I always feel a little guilt yabout that scar.

It was umpteen years ago at the MTA, in fact it may of still been the RTD. Anway it was back in the first few years of the three strikes law.  It was a hot summer Saturday and I was driving the old 420 line from Downtown through Hollywood and into Van Nuys. It was a lazy hot afternoon, the bus was packed as we left Universal Studios and headed north into the heart of the valley.  from the back of the bus a commotion had started. Two dudes where getting ready to fight. There was shouting and pushing and posing…. and I wasn’t in the mood.  I told them ” to knock that shit off before I go back there and kick both your asses!”  Like I said it was a long time ago… a different age of bus driving and I could get away with that crap back then.

I pulled my bus into the stop at 5 corners in North Hollywood and one of the two guys hops off the back door, sweeeeet!!!!  My job just became easier.. it does take two to tango so off we roll.  As we proceed towards the West  the crowd starts to thin out and I pick up a tall slightly built latino man, mi amigo.  He got on and sat down next to the guy who had been having words earlier and off we went.

4 blocks later I was traveling at 40 mph down Burbank blvd when all of the sudden every person on the bus was in front my yellow line screaming ” HE’S GOT A KNIFE!!!!!”   I locked the brakes up and skidded to the curb. I opened the doors and looked back  everyone was in front of the yellow line, everyone except two people. my amigo who just got on and the other guy that was STABBING HIM in the cheek and shoulders.  I yelled at everyone to get off I opened the rear doors a lady made half step back for her purse I shouted “FUCK YOUR PURSE, GET OFF NOW” and then there was three. Him mi Amigo and me.  By this time the victim was on the floor and this guy was looking at me. I grabbed the fire extinguisher and pulled the pin. I figured if he comes at me I can spray him and get a few shots in before he hacks at me. He hesitated for a second and looked back at the guy on the floor. I bolted off the bus via the front door…  he walked off the back door….  I jumped on the front door and closed them both leaving me and the victim inside and the knife guy and other passengers outside.

Quickly I used the radio ( this was pre cell phone days) and to my shock this guy just started to walk down the street. no big deal.  I opened the doors myself and another patron found stuff to apply pressure to this guys face.  Luckily there was an MTA police officers nearby who received the call and arrived in less that 4 minutes.  I pointed out the guy down the street they made me come with them they rolled up and 5 O’d him.  as we got back the paramedics came on seen along with my supervisor. They transported him to the hopsital.

My supervisor wanted me to keep driving the bus.  I told him there was blood all on the inside, I had blood on my shirt. He told me to clean it up on the layover. I told him fuck you ” I’m too upset to drive in service” this prick said ok, he parked my bus and made me ride another in service bus all the way back to downtown to my division.  He could of let me drive my bus in but he was being a asshole.   Sorry Mr. MTA I have rule a guy gets stabbed on my bus I’m done for the day….  go ahead play your little power trip games.. I hope you get cancer and die!!!!  oh wait… that supervisor did a few years later… and I somehow wasn’t overly sad about his passing. but back to my story

The reason I brought up three strikes earlier is because we went to court on this case. It turns out this guy was the first person in the San Fernando Valley to be charged with his 3rd strike. He was looking at life. I had to testify It didn’t help him that I watched him continuously from the moment he stabbed the dude to the second he was in cuffs. I  testified for 3 days, he got  his third strike and life.

Mi amigo alway’s thinks I saved his life…  I didn’t.  In fact I think I should of saw it coming earlier…   if at that point I had 1 or two more years under my belt I would of seen it coming.  Nowadays I don’t accept that it takes two to tango. I now know a problem isn’t over till all parties involved are off the bus. I probably through my earlier non action jeopardized this poor guy.  All that remains to the naked eye is a little scar, less that a quarter inch on his cheek.  So every time I see that guy I’m happy he is ok but sad about his scar…

Adventure on the High Seas

How is the rain going for you? For me, considering I’ve driven 24 hours of it in the last 3 days, I’m really ready to be over it.   It’s like I’ve been a U-boat commander these last three days not a bus driver. All the while I kept asking myself. ” didn’t we just spend  bazillions in the valley for new storm drains? Hasn’t major streets such as Roscoe at Woodman and Victory been under construction for years because of this?  yet 3 hours into the first rain the valley is flooding. They closed   Balboa and Victory  within 3 hours of the rain starting.

Overall though I have to admit I haven’t seen too many accidents. The only really crappy thing that has bugged me the last few days is the dampness.  Your just cold and wet on the bus and that makes my old bones hurt…    I came hometoday and had to lay on the floor in my kids room put my feet up on their bed and just let my back straighten out.  The worst part of the storm is hasn’t hit yet.  That will come the day after the storms when everyone who has stayed home these several days ends up out and about and on my bus to run their errands…   That to me is the real storm  ….  I’m tired so going to go to bed…  but tomorrow I’m going to tell you a tale about one of my old time riders who got on my bus yesterday and his scar

Stay dry/

1 fare, 1 train.

That’s the new motto for the MTA. What it means is that riders must now pay a fare for each train they ride.  What the fuck?  I got to hand it to my company, they take the cake. This is the lowest ethical fare policy I’ve witnessed since they started to make blind people pay. ( years ago blind passangers were allowed to ride free). Look I know times are tough and even the MTA is feeling the cash crunch. Although one would never know it by our new fleet of Chrysler cars and our fancy landscaping at MTA buildings.  But  one has to ask in these tough times what should be our goals at the MTA? Do we operate in the black and stay solvent or do we serve the public?

In times like these where people are hurting, job loss is at a record high and despair is rampant I believe the MTA should focus it’s attention on it’s primary mission ” keeping people moving.”   People have to keep moving to have hope.  Motion is one of the qualitative standards of life.  Author Michael Strobel writes in his book ” Taking Chance”  ” I watch them carry Chance Phelps the final 15 yards. I felt as long as he was still moving he was some how still alive.  They put him down in his grave he stopped moving.”  In these shitty times we need to keep people moving, we need to keep them alive.  but it seems at every turn The powers to be are putting up barriers to keep people from moving.

First there Tap cards that were billed as eco friendly..  well in fact they are but they also are a burden since they can’t be bought on a bus and force people to pay more money to move, money they don’t have…  no money= no motion.  Then they pull this 1- fare 1 train shenanigans. No other major transit system in America operates like this.  In New York city you go down in the subway your in the system..  same goes for San Francisco.  We should be making it easier for people to travel to live to progress so that they can help themselves. ” Everyone who is serious about what they are doing must be in constant motion forward.” – Ed O’Brien.

It’s the role of government to help the people  instead of 1 fare, 1 train….   we should stick to 1 world 1 love.